Category: self-love

There is something about this time of year that makes me want to slow down.

The mornings are darker. The evenings are drawing in. The leaves are beginning to turn and there is a definite cooling in the air.

We’ve moved beyond the Autumn Equinox and, in the Wheel of the Year, we’re moving towards Samhain — a time traditionally associated with letting go, reflection and turning inward.

And perhaps nature is giving us a little nudge to do the same.

To slow down.
To take a breath.
To enjoy the simple things.

But if you’re anything like me, actually stopping can be surprisingly difficult.

Even sitting down to drink a cup of coffee can somehow become something I do while answering an email, scrolling through my phone, writing a blog post (😉), thinking about what needs doing next… or discovering that my coffee has gone cold beside me. 🙈

So I’ve found a rather lovely little trick…

My pumpkin mug ritual 🎃

A couple of years ago, I bought myself a pumpkin mug from a rather swanky shop in Cambridge.

It was, let’s say, an ‘investment piece’ 😍

It cost considerably more than I would normally spend on a mug!

But every October, I get ridiculously excited about taking it out of the cupboard.

It has its own little season.

It comes out at the beginning of October and gets packed away around the middle of November, when the Christmas mugs make their appearance.

And it only gets used for one particular ritual:

my mid-morning coffee or a pumpkin spice hot chocolate.

That’s it.

And honestly? It makes me smile.

There is something about reaching for that mug that tells my brain:

Ahhh… this is my little moment.

And because it is something I genuinely enjoy, I’m much more inclined to pause and actually savour it. It helps that it’s an awkward shape to drink out of and so needs to be done carefully to avoid wearing it.

I might take a few deep breaths.

Notice the warmth of the mug in my hands.

Smell the coffee or chocolate.

Take that first sip slowly.

And for a few minutes, I don’t need to achieve anything.

I can simply enjoy it.

Make pleasure part of the ritual

If you find stopping difficult, perhaps you could try something similar.

It doesn’t have to be a swanky mug.

In fact, it doesn’t have to cost anything at all.

The idea is to find something small and pleasurable that you can attach to something you already do.

It’s a little like habit stacking — the idea from James Clear in Atomic Habits, where you link a new habit to something that is already part of your routine.

So rather than telling yourself:

“I really should meditate for 20 minutes every morning.”

or

“I need to make more time for myself.”

you could start much smaller.

Attach a tiny moment of pleasure to something you already do.

Perhaps you could:

🍂 Light a favourite candle while you have your morning coffee.

🍂 Use a beautiful glass for your water.

🍂 Put on a particular playlist while you get ready for the day.

🍂 Use your favourite hand cream after washing or clearing the dishes.

🍂 Have a special tea that you only drink when you sit down and properly enjoy it.

🍂 Put on your comfiest socks when you get home.

🍂 Take your afternoon drink outside and spend five minutes noticing the world around you.

🍂 Have a particular essential oil blend that becomes your signal to pause and breathe.

The important thing is that you really like it!

Not something you think you should enjoy.

But something that makes you smile.

Something that feels a little bit delicious.

Something that lights you up.

Tiny hits of pleasure

I think we sometimes make self-care far more complicated than it needs to be.

We imagine that looking after ourselves means booking a spa day, going away for the weekend, spending an hour meditating or finding a whole afternoon when we can do absolutely nothing.

And those things are wonderful.

But when life is busy, they can also feel completely unrealistic.

What if instead, we looked for tiny hits of pleasure throughout our day?

Little moments that help us shift gears.

A beautiful scent.

A favourite song.

The warmth of a drink.

Five minutes with a book.

The feel of soft clothes against your skin.

A walk in the autumn sunshine.

A piece of really good chocolate.

A bath instead of a quick shower.

The mug that makes you ridiculously happy.

None of these things are particularly life-changing.

And that’s rather the point.

They don’t need to be.

They are tiny reminders that your life isn’t simply a list of things to do, people to look after and responsibilities to fulfil.

There is also room for pleasure.

For enjoyment.

For beauty.

For things that make your heart sing.

So, what is your autumn ritual?

This October, I wonder if you could choose one small thing that is just for you.

It might be a new seasonal mug.

It might be something you already own but rarely use.

Or perhaps it’s something completely different.

Choose something that makes you feel good — and then make it your reminder to pause.

When you use it, take a breath.

Put down your phone.

Let go of the mental to-do list for a moment.

And actually experience the pleasure of what you’re doing.

Because sometimes, taking care of yourself doesn’t have to begin with making more time.

Sometimes it can begin with allowing yourself to enjoy the time you already have.

So here’s your little autumn invitation:

Find something that gives you pure pleasure.
Make it part of your day.
And when you use it, slow down and take a breath.

You deserve those little moments of pleasure too. 🍂🤎