Holistic lifestyle, Lifestyle, Meditation, self-love

Autumn: Slow Down, Take a Breath & Find a Little Pleasure 🍂

There is something about this time of year that makes me want to slow down.

The mornings are darker. The evenings are drawing in. The leaves are beginning to turn and there is a definite cooling in the air.

We’ve moved beyond the Autumn Equinox and, in the Wheel of the Year, we’re moving towards Samhain — a time traditionally associated with letting go, reflection and turning inward.

And perhaps nature is giving us a little nudge to do the same.

To slow down.
To take a breath.
To enjoy the simple things.

But if you’re anything like me, actually stopping can be surprisingly difficult.

Even sitting down to drink a cup of coffee can somehow become something I do while answering an email, scrolling through my phone, writing a blog post (😉), thinking about what needs doing next… or discovering that my coffee has gone cold beside me. 🙈

So I’ve found a rather lovely little trick…

My pumpkin mug ritual 🎃

A couple of years ago, I bought myself a pumpkin mug from a rather swanky shop in Cambridge.

It was, let’s say, an ‘investment piece’ 😍

It cost considerably more than I would normally spend on a mug!

But every October, I get ridiculously excited about taking it out of the cupboard.

It has its own little season.

It comes out at the beginning of October and gets packed away around the middle of November, when the Christmas mugs make their appearance.

And it only gets used for one particular ritual:

my mid-morning coffee or a pumpkin spice hot chocolate.

That’s it.

And honestly? It makes me smile.

There is something about reaching for that mug that tells my brain:

Ahhh… this is my little moment.

And because it is something I genuinely enjoy, I’m much more inclined to pause and actually savour it. It helps that it’s an awkward shape to drink out of and so needs to be done carefully to avoid wearing it.

I might take a few deep breaths.

Notice the warmth of the mug in my hands.

Smell the coffee or chocolate.

Take that first sip slowly.

And for a few minutes, I don’t need to achieve anything.

I can simply enjoy it.

Make pleasure part of the ritual

If you find stopping difficult, perhaps you could try something similar.

It doesn’t have to be a swanky mug.

In fact, it doesn’t have to cost anything at all.

The idea is to find something small and pleasurable that you can attach to something you already do.

It’s a little like habit stacking — the idea from James Clear in Atomic Habits, where you link a new habit to something that is already part of your routine.

So rather than telling yourself:

“I really should meditate for 20 minutes every morning.”

or

“I need to make more time for myself.”

you could start much smaller.

Attach a tiny moment of pleasure to something you already do.

Perhaps you could:

🍂 Light a favourite candle while you have your morning coffee.

🍂 Use a beautiful glass for your water.

🍂 Put on a particular playlist while you get ready for the day.

🍂 Use your favourite hand cream after washing or clearing the dishes.

🍂 Have a special tea that you only drink when you sit down and properly enjoy it.

🍂 Put on your comfiest socks when you get home.

🍂 Take your afternoon drink outside and spend five minutes noticing the world around you.

🍂 Have a particular essential oil blend that becomes your signal to pause and breathe.

The important thing is that you really like it!

Not something you think you should enjoy.

But something that makes you smile.

Something that feels a little bit delicious.

Something that lights you up.

Tiny hits of pleasure

I think we sometimes make self-care far more complicated than it needs to be.

We imagine that looking after ourselves means booking a spa day, going away for the weekend, spending an hour meditating or finding a whole afternoon when we can do absolutely nothing.

And those things are wonderful.

But when life is busy, they can also feel completely unrealistic.

What if instead, we looked for tiny hits of pleasure throughout our day?

Little moments that help us shift gears.

A beautiful scent.

A favourite song.

The warmth of a drink.

Five minutes with a book.

The feel of soft clothes against your skin.

A walk in the autumn sunshine.

A piece of really good chocolate.

A bath instead of a quick shower.

The mug that makes you ridiculously happy.

None of these things are particularly life-changing.

And that’s rather the point.

They don’t need to be.

They are tiny reminders that your life isn’t simply a list of things to do, people to look after and responsibilities to fulfil.

There is also room for pleasure.

For enjoyment.

For beauty.

For things that make your heart sing.

So, what is your autumn ritual?

This October, I wonder if you could choose one small thing that is just for you.

It might be a new seasonal mug.

It might be something you already own but rarely use.

Or perhaps it’s something completely different.

Choose something that makes you feel good — and then make it your reminder to pause.

When you use it, take a breath.

Put down your phone.

Let go of the mental to-do list for a moment.

And actually experience the pleasure of what you’re doing.

Because sometimes, taking care of yourself doesn’t have to begin with making more time.

Sometimes it can begin with allowing yourself to enjoy the time you already have.

So here’s your little autumn invitation:

Find something that gives you pure pleasure.
Make it part of your day.
And when you use it, slow down and take a breath.

You deserve those little moments of pleasure too. 🍂🤎

Lifestyle, Meditation

How meditation helped me through my Mum’s illness

Talking of meditation, I cannot tell you how much meditation helped me recently, how grateful I am that I have practiced meditation a lot over the years.  I’m grateful for the times I didn’t feel like it but did it anyway or when it just wasn’t happening but I persevered.  Why?  Because when things have been difficult over the last few weeks with Mum’s illness I have truly found the benefit of this calming, focusing practice. 

There have been many nights when I have been awake at 4am with thoughts and worries going round and round in my head.  In a state of semi-sleep this can continue for hours, but when I realise what is happening and make a conscious decision to change it, then the magic begins to happen. To find out how meditation has helped me cope during this challenging time, click here to read more on my website.

Find a point of focus

I start by finding something, anything, nice to concentrate on.  For me this is often a tree, a flower or even just watching my breath – anything that is completely unrelated to what has been churning round my head.   It is not always quick and often not easy either.  However I keep bringing my mind back to my chosen thought, every time it starts to following the churning thoughts again. In time it wanders less often and I notice my wandering mind more quickly to bring it back.  I notice that it’s easier to re-focus on the more pleasant thought and that I become calmer and my heart rate slows again.  And gradually I fall back into a restful sleep.

But this doesn’t happen by chance, this happens because I have practiced and practiced and practiced.  Practiced in my group, with You Tube videos, in retreats or courses, with CDs and just on my own.  Time after time, so that I know what my mind is prone to doing, so that I know what thoughts are likely to keep my mind engaged and focused when it is at its most distracted.

Lifestyle, Meditation

Join our meditation circle online.

Our online meditation circle meets every Thursday at 7pm on Zoom

I lead a guided meditation for about half an hour, sharing exercises, techniques and journeys to help you find your own way with meditation and hopefully help you to build your own practice.

I ask for an exchange of £5 per week (or £20 per month if you are a regular attender)

Some come every week, others just when they need it.  Some have other commitments and so book with me in advance and I send the recording of the session to them afterwards.

I record each session but after I have stopped recording we often stay online and chat about our practice and whatever else comes from where the conversation takes us…….

How it works.

  • I send out a weekly reminder email
  • Reply to this email or click the button in the email to let me know you are interested that week
  • I will confirm and send you payment details
  • You will receive an email an hour or so before the circle with a link to join on Zoom.  It is very simple to join!

If you would like to join this week then please complete the form below and I will be in touch.  You can also complete the form below to go onto the reminder list if you can’t make it this week.

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

 

Please note that by completing above form you will be signing up to join my mailing list.  I send out weekly reminders for the meditation session and a monthly newsletter.  You can unsubscribe at any time.

meditation helps mental health
Journeys, Meditation

How joining online meditation circle could help you cope with the mental effects of lockdown.

Why Online Meditation?

Like you, I hear and read the news and know that so many people are struggling with loneliness and mental health issues during this time of enforced isolation.  These issues are not new but the lack of human contact, mental stimulation and concern over the virus are often bringing them to the surface.   If this is you, then you are not alone and joining an online meditation circle could really help.  There is a sense of group, of community in a meditation circle despite the fact that I am the one doing most of the talking by leading the guided meditation.  The small detail of our being in our own homes and many miles apart, also has no bearing on the sense of togetherness that practicing meditation in a group can bring.

It is a year or so since I ran regular meditation circles in my sitting room.  However, my concern for people’s mental wellbeing as they became more isolated from society, was one of the main reasons I decided to bring the circles back.  Of course it’s now in an online format, but you can join me every Monday lunctime and Thursday evening (we’re finished in time to clap for the keyworkers) and I’ll even send you a reminder that morning so you don’t miss the sessions.

There are other things that meditation can help us with, particularly at the moment as we are learning to accept change and dealing with an emotional rollercoaster or new emotions as we come to terms with what is going on with the world and the virus.

  • mentally stepping away from the difficulties we are facing at any point

  • show how sitting with our emotions can help us accept and deal with them in a  kinder fashion

  • bring focus and clarity to the thoughts we really need to focus on, rather than being constantly distracted

I want to introduce,  or re-introduce, more people to meditation and to these benefits.  So if you’ve never tried meditation before, but have maybe heard it’s a good thing, then this could be your time to give it a go – half an hour of your time and your don’t even have to travel anywhere.  You might find that the quiet of a guided meditation is just what you need.

You’ve tried it but don’t think it’s for you,

A lot of people say to me that they have tried but can’t do meditation or that it wouldn’t work for them because their mind is too busy and my answer is always the same – you have to try it, I mean, really try it and you have to practice regularly.  You wouldn’t take up a new hobby, sport or musical instrument and expect to be perfect straight away.  You would expect to have to practice and to strengthen certain muscles, you would expect to start at the beginning and make mistakes along the way.  Meditation is no different.  We are training the brain, like a muscle, to undo what it has done all our life, over think.  We have to learn to do things that are different and don’t come naturally, we will have days when we can do it and days when we can’t – and that’s ok.  In fact the journey of learning and recognising your reaction to what happens on your journey is what it is all about – that is meditation.

I’ve done a lot more meditation than usual during lockdown and at first I thought it was the escapism I was enjoying, but actually it’s the space I’m loving. The space in my mind between the thoughts. The space when it all stops. It doesn’t happen easily or all the time but the more I practice the more often it happens. Funny that, isn’t it?

And if it’s not for you, do you know someone who could use one of these benefits – even if they don’t realise it themselves.  Then please forward this blog to them or send them my email address meditation@medulla.space – you could be doing them a huge favour!

Would you like to try the session first, here is a link to my You Tube channel where I have uploaded a few meditation videos that you can use at any time.

cloud background for meditation
Full moon, Meditation

Don’t give negative thoughts room in your head

Three times this week I have heard the advice about not giving negative thoughts room in your head, and it’s only Wednesday!  Twice this came round in discussions about using meditation techniques to prevent the negative thoughts taking hold of your mind and so preventing the trains of thought that often follow a negative idea, which if unchecked can spiral out of control.  At worst turning a single negative thought into a bad day or depressive episode.

Yesterday, I was reading Joanna Watters astrology newsletter and she commented on the full moon on Sunday.  This full moon falls in emotional Pisces which means it could be a time of emotional upset or turmoil for many.  However if you have the tools to work with, you can prevent negative emotions and feelings from ruining your day.  Meditation gives us these tools: by practicing regularly we can learn to re-focus our mind when any thought pops in, so why can’t we do this with specific types of thoughts, ie negative ones?  We can, and better still, we can learn to steer ourselves away from those thoughts that are going to make us unhappy.  We can learn to pick and choose what thoughts we allow into our heads.

Of course, there are times we need to address negative issues but what’s to say we can’t decide when is an appropriate time to deal with this, not just when our mind feels like it – but that is a whole other topic and blog post!

As we practice meditation we can learn to identify when our mind has wandered away from the object of our meditation and by doing this regularly we can create a habit of noticing when our mind has been distracted by thoughts that are not to do with the task in hand.  Once we’ve noticed this distraction we can then choose to bring the mind back.  For example: whilst writing this post my mind has tried to wander off to my to do list or what photo will look good next to this post, but as I become aware that I am thinking of something that is not to do with the subject of this writing (ie when I’ve lost my train of thought) I bring it back to how I want to phrase the next line.  Today is a good day and my mind is fairly well focused, but some days it’s a proper monkey mind and I’m forever pulling it back (and that’s only when I’ve noticed it’s been off elsewhere) – it could be luck that today is a good day, or it could be because I’ve been practicing watching my mind and an beginning to create the habit of focusing on one task at a time.

Come Sunday’s full moon I will be watching my mind closely.  I already had plans in the diary to spend the day with friends, and with a busy rest of the weekend I know it would usually be an emotionally trying time for me.  Now that I am for-warned and have the tools, I am confident I will get through this much more easily than I might have done before.

So, was it just coincidence that I have repeatedly heard this advice, at this time or a pertinent warning from my guides or angels to be on my guard and to look out for myself?  I know many who would dismiss the latter in an instant but I feel there are just too many coincidences not to have some significance.  I’d love to hear your views on this, please leave me a comment on here or on social media @medullaspace

Much love and light